Parents should shun the habit of comparing their children with others

There is a common practice amongst the Bangladeshi parents and which is to compare their own children with others children. Very often the parents tend to disgrace their own children with insulting words when the others’ children rip good harvests than their own children.

But is it worthy to do so?

I have grown up in an environment where each day I was being reminded that I’m nothing but an idiot as my other cousins were superior to me in studies. I couldn’t satisfy my parents’ demands with good results. And for which I had always been regarded as a dumb.

At times the comparisons used to take a heavy toll on my mind and very often I used to cry silently. The insults not only came from my parents but also from my relatives. And mind you they were as sharp as Tipu Sultan’s sword which made my childish heart bleed.

But somehow I could overcome those discouraging stones thrown on me and has been able to stand on my feet to move forward.

 But not many are able to do so. Due to continuous comparisons, discouragements and insults from their parents, many children tend to develop a severe psychological stress which hampers their normal mental growth. They tend to develop an inferiority complex within themselves which leads to depression and ultimately to fatal Schizophrenia.

The duty of the parents is to encourage their children whenever they are found wanted. Not all children are good in studies, but Allah has gifted each and every child with many unique qualities which must be discovered by the parents.

Your child isn’t a dumb or idiot as he/she fails in studies, but your children have talents which only you can discover if you have that eye. Don’t compare your children with others and hamper their childhood. The child deserves a better childhood from you through words of wisdom and encouragement.

Please, for the sake of Allah, don’t hurt their soft minds.

It’s you who have brought your children in this world by the grace of Allah. Your children didn’t come to this world willingly. So, it’s your duty to make sure that they grow up properly with your love, care and encouragements.

If you continue to compare your children with others and throw discouraging stones towards them, remember you will lose your children in the black hole of depressive illness.

Thank You

Faisal Caesar

 

The work-ant

I am used to watch exciting batsmen from the West Indies, batsmen who used to trigger thrill and chill amongst the spectators with strokes of high pedigree. It would consist of flavors of a murder with poetry in motion. The Caribbean batsmen whom I have grown up watching never triggered boredom and people who paid money to watch them had their money worth it. 

But Shivnarine Chanderpaul as a Caribbean batsman is totally un-Caribbean. He lacks the killer instincts, the care-a-dam attitude and the poetic expression in his batting.

But he’s a Caribbean king of different quality.

In this age of T20 cricket you won’t wish to pay a dollar to watch his batting. But hey listen! You can bet on him not losing his wickets. He is the very antagonist of Caribbean elegance and flair but even a drone attack will not deter him from his job.

 While he use walk towards the wicket to bat you won’t find any sort of Caribbean daringness like those of Richards, Sobers or Headly or any prince like elegance like that of Brian Lara. He just fails to attract your attention.

With short and sharp steps lacking any grace he walks towards the wicket and then takes his bizarre open-chested stance with his leg-stump exposed. You would feel that someone from a different planet has come to bat on earth to put a nail on the head of the purists.

But when the bowler releases the ball you would be guessing that this guy is a player of unique talent. Very swiftly he will shuffle across the wicket and get himself in the best of positions to play his shots – he simply middles the ball with perfection, a divine quality which has made him one of the best in the business.

Shivnarine Chanderpaul entered into the West Indies side when the Caribbean team were still the best in the world. But a year after his debut the Caribbean glory started to gather rust and in course of time he found himself in a team which was simply a shadow of the past – he now remains the best student in a school where majority are students of poor quality.

For more than a decade he was overshadowed by the brightness of Brian Lara but despite Lara’s individual brilliances, Chanderpaul’s contributions remained critical in posting good totals for the West Indies if not victories. Brian Lara left the scene and Chanderpaul became the backbone of the West Indian batting line up. And time and again he has proved himself as the last man standing while the others use to fail on a regular basis.

Very recently Chanderpaul has entered the unique 10,000 runs club in Test cricket. In this age of heavy metal music, Chanderpaul achieved this unique feat with the beats of classic music. Hard-work, sheer will-power and strong determination has been the key to Chanderpaul’s success.

Being a Caribbean cricket follower he’s not my favorite batsman but you can’t just take your eyes off him. At the crease he generates a certain amount of cool and composed thrill which a Laxman and Dravid used to generate. There is no thrilling ride but there is a certain amount of composure which drives one to watch him.

To maintain one’s self standard remarkably high despite the continuous problems in the cricket board is an indication of one’s sound self-understanding and self-consciousness. Over the years the WICB has been involved in all sorts of troubles but still Chanderpaul is seen to maintain his own game and self-integrity uniquely.

Over the last ten years one will hardly find a lean patch in Chanderpaul’s career. Continuously Chanderpaul has been producing runs for his team. With Chris Gayle being busy in driving a crazy money train, Chanderpaul chose to contribute for his country and his contributions have been immense as he has neutralized bowling attacks in all countries and all conditions often with minimal or no support at all from the other end.

In the recent series against Australia this year, Chanderpaul scored respectively; 103 not out, 12, 94, 68 and 69 with an aggregate of 346 in five innings. He carried his sound form in the Test series against England where at Lord’s he scored 87 not out and 91. He is simply now a role model of consistency and he is scoring his runs by his Chanderpaul way which took years of sheer hard work and dedication to trap himself in the zone of consistency where there is no word call ‘Bad Patch.’

At present Chanderpaul is the number one Test batsman in the world an achievement which is apt and appropriate for him. He is now as Sharda Ugra said, ‘the last man standing of a generation whose best players have either retired or been sidelined due to age or disagreements.’

One who dares to dream the return of the golden days of West Indies cricket has to be a person of divine quality. Chanderpaul is that. He’s the Caribbean work-ant of a different class.

Thank You

Faisal Caesar

Captain Hafeez must play the role of an orchestral player

So what makes a Pakistan team gel together and rock? What makes the masters of unpredictability essay fairy tales?

Pakistan is world’s most talented side. As an ardent follower of Pakistan cricket since the days of Imran Khan, I have observed that whenever these God gifted talents are under a strong leader who made them play as a unit it is only then the fairy tales have been essayed. And if they aren’t made to work as a unit, you’ll find the ‘Cornered Tigers’ turning out into ‘Cornered Chickens.’

To lead a Pakistan team is the toughest thing one can ever think of. Only being a shrewd tactician or possessing a sound knowledge on the game might not meet the demands to fulfill the hope and aspirations to lead the green army. Above all, a Pakistani captain must be a very good in man management – he must be a leader of men.  

In my opinion Javed Miandad was a better tactician than Imran Khan. But Javed couldn’t demand respect from the Pakistan team during his time only because of being a poor man manager. Whereas, Imran Khan was the master in managing the critical personalities in the Pakistan team and for which he was able to bore fruits from his players, as a captain, during his playing days.

For the last one and half years the men in green have been playing like a unit. I give both Misbah-ul-Haq and Afridi the credit to make this happen. Both of their tactics were nothing rocket science but the secret laid in marinating the team unity. And for which, since the terrible tour to England in 2010, Pakistan team transformed from a procession of soloist into an orchestra.   

If you have a unit oozing with naturally gifted talents then the biggest challenge is in managing them. Any naturally gifted talents are arrogant and aren’t interested in paying heed to advices. To make them work and produce results a team needs a leader with man management qualities. And when a leader manages these talents well he is supposed reap a rich harvest.

Pakistan has appointed Mohammad Hafeez as the new T20I captain. He has also been named as the vice-captain for the ODI which indicates that we might find him leading the side in the longer versions of the game (Tests and ODI) in course of time.

 Mohamamd Hafeez came into the international scene as a bits and pieces cricketer and reached to this current position stature after driving the car through the rough roads. Adversity has surely helped him to reach a level in international cricket. Adversity surely has taught him the lesson which is helpful to develop as a captain. But leadership is something else. As I said earlier, to lead a Pakistani side one needs to be a leader with man management qualities. 

Is he the appropriate choice as Pakistan team’s captain?

Does Hafeez possess the ability of man managements?

Is he at home in managing the critical personalities?

If he doesn’t have those qualities then Mohammad Hafeez will be facing a tough task ahead of him in managing the perennially fractious Pakistani team. He might be called ‘The Professor’ by many but in my opinion Hafeez should play the role of an orchestral player.

To make the men in green roar in the field Hafeez must manage the off-field matters with astute authority alongside the infield matters. To demand respect from his men, Hafeez must not let the pressure of captaincy transform him into an ice-sculpture in the desert – Hafeez needs to perform to command authority.

But luckily Hafeez would be aided by Dav Whatmore, a man who knows and understands the demands of international cricket and cricketers and is a shrewd man manager. His experience with the Asian teams will be a great value for Hafeez to mould himself into a leader as well as man manager.

Can he use the advantage of having Dav Whatmore? Can he make captaincy work as a catalyst for him regarding his personal performances?

Time will answer.  

Let us remain optimistic. 

Thank You

Faisal Caesar